Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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