used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
