When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
