you have to choose: penises or morals?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
