I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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