are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
