Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  Why were you high on a thursday?

  (1-650): View more from California

  today's a wednesday

  (650): View more from California

  I asked first.

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  (650): Why were you high on a thursday? (1-650): today's a wednesday (650): I asked first. http://tfl.nu/enxr
  Replies (9) Good night (2428) Bad night (473)
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  (323): View more from California

  No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.

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  (323): No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested. http://tfl.nu/53oj
  Replies (6) Good night (4972) Bad night (738)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?

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  (205): During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker? http://tfl.nu/m2sw
  Replies (37) Good night (812) Bad night (6882)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.

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  (609): Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand. http://tfl.nu/nkg8
  Replies (44) Good night (15734) Bad night (1592)
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  (415): View more from California

  Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.

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  (415): Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only. http://tfl.nu/ffub
  Replies (7) Good night (4803) Bad night (971)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for

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  (330): My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for http://tfl.nu/h1bq
  Replies (18) Good night (4655) Bad night (1031)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends

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  (919): every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends http://tfl.nu/8jwh
  Replies (7) Good night (2875) Bad night (917)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.

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  (302): She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her. http://tfl.nu/dsg0
  Replies (17) Good night (4186) Bad night (1672)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.

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  (405): I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad. http://tfl.nu/l0uz
  Replies (11) Good night (901) Bad night (4842)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles

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  (978): Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles http://tfl.nu/8ba6
  Replies (8) Good night (2376) Bad night (1138)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.

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  (440): I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray. http://tfl.nu/d3w5
  Replies (10) Good night (1726) Bad night (909)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?

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  (519): On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend? http://tfl.nu/abvl
  Replies (28) Good night (8141) Bad night (1093)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'

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  (703): Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention' http://tfl.nu/1dne
  Replies (3) Good night (1205) Bad night (579)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.

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  (715): I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE. http://tfl.nu/ipmq
  Replies (6) Good night (881) Bad night (1056)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.

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  (630): Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me. (1-630): Pulling out all the stops on being a lady. http://tfl.nu/6gwr
  Replies (2) Good night (1305) Bad night (430)

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