Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
The Olympian is in my bed
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress