I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.