We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
