If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
