I queefed so loud it echoed.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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