I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
