remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
