At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
