And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Randomize
