Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
