drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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