apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
