it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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