OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
