10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
