Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
