I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
