Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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