1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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