Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
