he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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