I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
