; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize