Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
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He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
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We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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