THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
