kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
