you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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