I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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