Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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