I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
