You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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