I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
