Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
