Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Define "chronic" masturbator.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Naked Twister starts at high noon
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
