sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
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So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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