i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Randomize