At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
