I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
