I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I just googled if crying burns calories
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
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