you traded sex for a burrito?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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