i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
