Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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