gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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