OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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