I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
The feeling are messing with the penis
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
