I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
