Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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