Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
