And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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