My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
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