dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
