who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
