The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
