oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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