You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
