I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
